I live in the past....once again.

I am convinced that Satan wishes me
Out of the way. With the events of the last 9 months, and the ones prior to that Satan has stepped up his war against me. As the lord himself said to Peter, I have now seen it for myself. He wishes to sift me like wheat. And he is doing it. Many godly old friends and new ones have come my aid again. You all banded together and prayed for me at one time. I now feel the calmness in my soul. Praise God. Just moments before, I was almost out of control, alone in my home. The evil thoughts in my mind ,and things like waking up in horrible pain a couple nights ago.  Then looking over at my weapon thinking, I could pull this trigger one time, and end it all. Wow....that's just not Wayne.
Standing before my God and Saviour explaining my failure to trust him.Wow. Just moments ago, I literally wanted to do bad things to others and myself. Thoughts in my head saying God ain't there for you.
People wanting to help, why they don't really care? Wanting to lash out and hurt people I know I love regardless of what they do to me. WELL. YOUR PRAYERS reached Heaven. Those demons jumping me, wanting me dead. Yes, I mean dead.
Psalm 112:starting with verse 1.
The Security of the godly.
Praise ye the Lord. Blessed is the man that feareth the Lord. that delighteth
greatly in his commandments.
I know I posted this scripture last blog, but Satan wants me out of the way. Psalm 111:1......Praise the Lord, I will praise the Lord with my whole heart,in the assembly of the upright. And in the congregation. Yes a few years back I rededicated my life to Christ. Brought along with me a bit of my past life. God said that's over,that I'm not held responsible anymore.My people....my prayer: Psalm109 :26,27,28,29. Help me,O lord my God.
O save me according to thy mercy:
That what??? That they may know that this is thy hand; that thou Lord hast done it. Let them curse ,but bless
Thou.when they arise,let them be ashamed. But let thy servant rejoice.
Let my adversaries be clothed with shame,and let them cover themselves with their own confusion, as with a mantle.
So you all just had our Lord take up my cause. He will fight my battle  and cover me with His divine protection.
Now I have peace ,and I can sleep.Praise God for my Christian brothers and sisters.  Amen.